BoyleDown

12/19/2011 By Turkey

Monday- His last hope for survival in this uninhabited wilderness was that the river that lay before him below the distant mountains was reality and not mirage.

Tuesday- As he charged towards the supposed stream, he forgot his footing and fell victim to the rapids, which carried him into a valley of abandoned power plants and coughing smoke stacks.

Wednesday- Before he could finish wringing out his tattered clothes on the embankment, a figure in a Hazmat suit approached from a door behind a boulder.

Thursday- The man's voice was muffled by the suit, yet despite this lack of clarity he understood he was saying something about a UFO crash site.

Friday- He waited for him to finish speaking, then outstretched his hand and said, "take me, I wish to know the truth."

12/19/2011By Sideline Story

M- Her acceptance of his lust had left her on her back, with a hole in her chest, and a mask for her family.

T-As she sits down near her candlelit dinner, she refuses to use a chair, and contemplates death by hanging.

12/19/2011 By Igrit

M- As he leaned back in his chair and grabbed his hard drink, large by any standards, but even larger with the inclusion of such massive ice cubes, he wondered whether fatigue would fully set in before his job was done.

T- He was not one to abuse it, but every now and then he didn't mind plucking the buds off the plants he had grown, firing up the old bong he named Aristotle, and calming down with some cannabis.

W- A haze took over him, and the dancing smoke formulated into the face of a pink elephant.

T-It blew an enchanting tune out of its tusk, and then told him that no good women would ever return to a man who lived in a house with insect infestation.

F-With this being said, he jumped up from the chair, grabbed his broom and started stomping away at every critter he could find on the floor; then he sprinted off into the distance towards his ex-wife's pueblo.

12/19/2011 By Butch

M-With dishes piled a mile high, the overworked waiter slipped on a banana peel and they all went flying.

T- Frustrated by his job he made himself a stiff martini, jumped in the car, and floored it out of town.

W- Martinis just didn't do the trick, so he grabbed the bong he had under his seat and smoked until the stars came out.

12/19/2011 By Special K

M-A sleigh riding across a mountain.

T- The sleigh falls off a destroyed bridge and lands in a canyon of rocks.

W- From the valley, a stairway leads to a cave.

12/19/2011 By Beef

M-A man pointed his rifle at an innocent piglet.

T-He brings the meat home and sets up a candlelit dinner for his wife, all to find out she's peddling away on her bike to file for divorce.

W- The husband looks with his droopy eyes into the bedroom him and his wife happily shared,"Why is there another mans shoes next to the bed? They look like the ones I gave my boss for Christmas.."

12/20/2011 By Bad Company

M-The last of its kind showing all things have come to an end.

T- We have been enemies since before either of us were born.

12/20/2011 By wannabeerecruiter

M- A plane in flames as it hurls towards a monastery.

T- The underweight nuns jump in their 2 wheel buggy and propel themselves forward to escape, they need to get around the broken trees and the smoking fuselage before it explodes to avoid the fate of one poor soul that jumped out of the tail and got stuck upside down.

W-the last remaining survivors scurried up the hill to get away from the flames of the fuselage while a llama was frolicking in the distance.

12/20/2011 By Meanderer

M- Hidden from his line of sight, the long road, in which the individual had traveled, was littered with repressed memories.

12/20/2011 By Zabot

M- A manta Ray preparing for a very large person to be reining him in for a ride, man thats gonna hurt.

T- Little did the man know when he sat on the manta, that it was female and it popped out two babies through its hairy vagina as a group of corals watched

W- As the manta ray babies were starting their new life it abruptly came to an end when a sea monster ripped them to shreds and ate them.

12/20/2011 By couchburner

M- an epic battle rages between the obtuse and the square; obtuse lands a deadly blow on the square soldier, warping his shield.

12/20/2011 By the sheriff

M-There was no time for prayers; a flash in the pan- this wasn't supposed to happen- not like this; worse was the thought that he had allowed perceived success to be a substitute for happiness... accolades, in place of true achievement.

12/20/2011 By club culture

M-The urinal reminded me of the girl who was so frequently patronized in unsanitary ways.

12/20/2011 By The Kid

M- He left the bar with a shine in his eye, and a grin splitting the dimples between his ears; he unfolds the paper that she had tucked into his right breast pocket, only to realize that unless she had parkinson's, this was not her real phone number.

12/20/2011 By Zane Ballstein

M- The wise and venerable man used his uncanny whistling skills to permeate the hearts and souls of his deaf audience.

T- When he finally got home after his performance, Albert saw his wife washing the dishes and said to her in a domineering manner, "Make sure you use your finger nails to get all of the dried milk and cornflakes off of the bowl, you whore!"

12/20/2011 By Laolu

M- The realization that what he held dear and sacred was all but a lie perpetuated by society filled him with a hatred that not even he could understand now he questions all he knows and sadly has lost his courage.

12/20/2011 By Imaginary Boy

M- He crumpled up the old maps his mother had left him and muttered to himself, "Fuck it, I'm just gonna head northeast."

T- His nomadic lifestyle had begun to resemble a ping pong match, in which he was being bounced back and forth between two places, neither of which felt like home anymore.

W-He finally found his way back to Providence and immediately flipped on the tele (which was damaged with a vertical fracture down the left side) – that scene from Lord of the Rings where Gandalf the White fights Saruman was playing on TNT.

T-He reached to the side table searching for the remote; instead, he was greeted with the touch of a cold, greasy hand with crooked fingers.

12/20/2011 By Mark Wahlberg

M- On his nine thousand twenty-ninth day of working at Wally's Palace Miniature Golf Course, Harold Parker drove a Royaline flagstick through his longtime boss Dale "Wally" Wallace's left orbital socket.

12/20/2011 By calireyrey

M- He had always considered this position to be his favorite, and often referred to it as the "dessert" portion of making love.

12/20/2011 By Ky Mick

M- A man painting a portrait of himself using himself and nothing but himself.

12/20/2011 By Caseyyyyyy

M- A man is knocking on the doorway to heaven.

12/20/2011 By Buddha Boy

M-Jesus was very disappointed in the cross the Romans gave him to carry... all he could think about was how fun the Apocalypse will be.

T-The sun began to set and the clouds filled the sky, blocking all the stars except the few shining on him, like a stage for a play.

12/20/2011 By grawah

M- Viola lay trapped in her hospital bed, stopped in time, bored out of her skull watching nurses blur past with white coats trailing like superhero capes.

12/20/2011 By hopeitybopeity

M- A young girl decided that she wanted to do modern dance so she joined a class.

T- She was so surprised when she saw mr. incredible in her class! she asked him on a date and they went walking in the park.

12/20/2011 By trp11001

M- A woman was sledding down a hill when suddenly a small boy appeared in front of her path.

12/20/2011 By Back When

M- The uncertainty of the day stirred his existence.

12/20/2011 By deerslayer

M- Brail can be difficult if you lack the necessary fingers.

12/20/2011 By tyche

M- Assuming the mugger's demands to be dire, she almost blurted out a verbose sentence.

12/20/2011 By BBMY

M- It might have been nice to see Fiona again, but this past year Sam had been carving out the fine line between flexibility and nausea.

T- The chandelier was spinning behind two empty martini glasses, and the reflected sparks ignited his now persistent migraine.

12/20/2011 By kerrygirl

M- The old man started on his journey with 8 bags, it was a beginning, but it was also the end.

12/20/2011 By Festivus4therestofus

M- The Mountain of man drew back his hand and struck the child with a sledgehamer brute force until the babe lay cold and bloodless in the bedroom.

T- The Mountain's gaze turned to the chic modern living room-glass tables, cushions serving for chairs laid the foreground for the modern art monstrosity on the wall and turn of the century showerhead decor straddling windows baring the underbelly soul of the city.

12/20/2011 By Ken268

M-Was mother Mary really a virgin? She left out the part where temptation took over, noah's eyes looked far too seductive on that gorgeous sunday afternoon outside the arch.

T-As he sailed away with their pets, Mary suddenly felt guilty and peddled her bike into town where she was late to the crippled boy's birthday party, she recognized then that she would plead inoscent if anyone asked.

W- Why was she getting sick every morning..bending down and throwing up all the time? as her belly grew she had to think if something quick, that boy Joseph just up the hill seems like he could help cover for her.

12/20/2011 By anonymous

M- It was at that very moment, while gazing upon the gorgeous beast, that James realized he was born to wrestle hogs.

12/20/2011 By under the setting sun

M- In his blind rage he brought the knife down and plunged into her beating, cheating heart.